Ep. 87 - What Do You Want? Manifesting Your Dream Future By Shifting Your Mindset and Taking Action with Julie Ciardi

 
87_Julie Ciardi_IG.png
 

Do you want to manifest your dream future? Julie Ciardi shares her tips on how to shift your mindset and figure out what you want.

Julie Ciardi is a former Fortune 500 marketing executive who has taken her passion for business and marketing to help women create businesses and income streams that create passion, purpose, profit and protection for themselves and their families.

She is also the host of the Ignite Her Mind podcast, but above all she is the mom to two teenagers and a 7 year old. 

In this episode Julie and I talk about

  • The impact working on personal growth and mindset has made on how she parents, especially raising teenagers

  • Why all moms, not just business moms, should focus on personal growth and development

  • Creating an intentional co-parenting situation that has worked for over a decade

  • Her personal journey leaving her Fortune 500 executive job as the primary breadwinner in the family to transitioning into launching her own businesses and how she manifested it all to happen

  • The steps to take to manifest your future in a tangible, not woo-woo way

  • The first steps moms can take to figure out what to do next in their life

  • The number one word to take out of your vocabulary to shift your mindset

Follow Julie at

Listen & Follow

Subscribe, review and tune in weekly because you know you've yelled "Mommy's on a Call" at least once in the last week!!!

Listen on Apple Podcasts, Google Play, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio, Pandora, Audible, or your favorite podcast platform!

Follow along at IG: @MommysonaCall & @StephanieUchima

Ep. 87 - Julie Ciardi Transcript

[00:00:00] Julie: You don't have to know that all the how and all the details but if you don't know what you want, it's nearly impossible to take any actions to start to figure out, like, what do I need to change? Who do I need to be? I mean, you can't even begin to do any of that stuff if you don't know what you want.

And I honestly think, and I went through this, especially when my older kids were younger I really wasn't asking myself that question. It was, what am I going to allow myself to do? What should I do? I would say that's the biggest change where most things changed in my life is instead of saying, what should I do? I said, what do I want to do?

[00:00:39] Stephanie: Welcome to mommy's on a call your sacred space to laugh, learn, and feel like a real grownup human for a hot minute. I'm Stephanie Uchima Carney, a mom of three under six, serial entrepreneur, business strategist, and donut connoisseur. Just trying to get through the day one cold cup of coffee at a time. I believe that with more intention, a positive mindset and self care, it is possible to thrive in motherhood business.

My mission is to uncover the daily rituals, life lessons, real life tactics, and favorite tools to inspire and empower you mommy, to get the most out of life every single unpredictable day. So grab your headphones, tell your kids you're on the potty and tune in weekly for some laughs knowledge bombs, and plenty of real talk with real moms and maybe a dad or two.

Welcome to the mommy pod.

Welcome back to mommy's on a call today. I'm chatting with Julie Ciardi.

Julie is a former fortune 500 marketing VP turned multi-passionate entrepreneur. She's the host of the ignite, your side hustle podcast, creator of ignite university, and a mom of three. So welcome to the show.

[00:01:52] Julie: I'm so excited to be here. Thank you for having me.

[00:01:55] Stephanie: I'm excited to have you, because I do listen to your podcasts. I feel like very meta right now, like listening to you on my podcast when I'm used to listening to you on your podcast.

[00:02:06] Julie: Yes, I have totally had that happen with me too. And it's like, it's so funny.

Cause you feel like that's why I love podcasts are so intimate. That's what it is when you know someone's voice. I mean, it just, it, you immediately feel connected to them. I love it. It's awesome. Well, I want

[00:02:21] Stephanie: to start by asking, what is your biggest mom win

[00:02:23] Julie: of the week? Oh, that's a good one. So one thing that I am really working hard on and when you have teenagers, cause I have an almost 18 year old and I have, uh, he's gonna be 16 in July. Then I have a little guy he's seven.

When you have teenagers learning how to respond versus react is, uh, it's like, uh, something I'm always working on. And my son was like super upset. He was upset with the sister and gets in the car and slams the door and he's all angry and I'm driving him to, to football practice.

And again, I'm like, I'm just going to, you know, allow the space. I said, is, are you okay buddy? No, like, don't want to talk. You're grunted, I think. Right. And I'm like, you know, and in the past I could definitely be someone that would be like, what's going on. Like, you know, and like pushing and like almost getting upset with him because you're taking it out on me and right.

Nope. Let him, I let him. Do what he needed to do and what I'm saying, have a great practice, bud. You know, and I left when I came back and got him, you know, he hopped in the car and he just said, you know, mommy, he's like six foot three and he calls me, mommy, mommy, I'm sorry, I cut. I took it out on you and was angry like in the car, you know? Cause it was really Caroline, you know, whatever your nose, sister.

I was just, I was proud of myself more so than even him. I gave him the space required to come to that conclusion himself to be with himself in what he was going through emotionally. And I think as moms, we have this tendency, like we expect certain behavior and we expect not certain behavior being okay.

And, you know, and so I was really proud of that moment because it allowed him cause we, if we had had it out that would have carried on. Right. He would gone to football practice, even more upset and all the things. So I was very proud. That was a win.

[00:04:20] Stephanie: I think that's also a good like modeling lesson too, because if you think about it, if we got in the car angry and someone else was like, well, what's wrong with you?

Tell me, no, you have to tell me, you're like go away. Like, I don't want to talk to you right now. Especially like, if you've had a bad day, you're like, I just want my space. And I think that's great because. He saw that you respected that. And so then they're able to open up, but having little kids, someone once told me it doesn't get easier.

It gets harder because you deal with emotions. Little kids are hard because they need you, but they need you for something else. But when they get to be teenagers, it's a lot.

[00:04:57] Julie: It's so massively different. And I wish I could say that's not true, but it's a thousand percent true. They require you in a way. It, we talk about like entrepreneurship, creating personal growth. I think having teenagers like literally requires personal growth for yourself because of how to, like, I mean, these are your little babies that needed you and were like, my daughter was like on my leg. And so she was like 11, like, wouldn't go anywhere like at a party or whatever.

And now I'm lucky if I get to spend a little time with her, cause she's a social, you know, almost 18 year old butterfly. Initially going off to college to going off to college. And that was a whole crazy process in and of itself. And it really does. It requires the personal growth, which is why I wish more people had exposure to personal growth.

It's I wish you didn't have to like, you know, be going into business, you know, or an entrepreneurship or network marketing or something to get exposure to personal growth and development. Because I think that as a mom, It should be a requirement that we have like access to things to help us in personal growth and development, because that's been a huge one for me is the with teenagers.

[00:06:12] Stephanie: I think also, I mean, I've noticed that too, just by going through it just, my parenting has shifted my mindset because I think like your mindset is one of those muscles that you need to train. And I never thought about that. Literally. I started on my like personal growth, whatever journey only a few years ago about like four years ago.

And I realized that muscle now that it's gotten stronger, I'm able to adapt better to learning different things about parenting or shifting the way I react.

So the whole thing, when you said, like, I was quiet, I totally resonate. Whereas before I would have. I need to fix this. Like, no, you're my child. Like, it's my responsibility. I need to meddle. I need to fix it. And so that's such a good reminder.

In terms of, I was going to say having, you know, teenagers in this like shift and stuff, what do you think has made the biggest impact for you besides personal growth? Like getting through this? What are some of the tools that you've kind of fallen back to, to raise teenagers?

[00:07:07] Julie: You know, it, I love that you said the mindset and the muscle and all of that. I mean, It's really. I don't, I can honestly tell you, I don't know how I'd be right now as a mom to two, two teenagers. If I haven't done what I've done.

So for example, I got certified as a life coach that opened my eyes to how I was like mothering, you know, so I, whether you're growing a business or you're growing humans, like how your, your mindset and how you are interacting with them.

And when you start to realize that you have the ability to manage your own thoughts, you have your ability to manage your own emotions and mindset and overall attitude with how you handle your kids. Because all I heard over and over again, growing up, even from my mom was like, oh my gosh, the teenagers. Oh my gosh. The teenage years. And it's like a mirror in front of the face. And it was all this negativity that like, I would hear from other moms. And I'm like, I always questioned things. I'm like, does it have to be like, huh?

Like I don't get it. And honestly, I think that I've really appreciate them for who they are and they're wildly different people. So my daughter and son, they're 22 months apart and they're wildly different people. And I think that you, you've got to tap into this ability to. Treat them differently while not treating them differently.

If you know what I mean? Right? Like you're, I guess I should say you're handling them differently. You're mothering them differently without showing love for them differently for it, but they're wildly different. So I think that it requires a lot of awareness. And a lot of taking a seat of being silent, like and observing instead of reacting.

So it's this respond, react thing that I was talking about that is, it works really good with husbands too, by the way, I have to say like pretty much the teenagers, the husband, it's all kind of, it's all kind of tantruming toddlers. He's the easiest one at this point, but it does, you know, it's, it's, it's fascinating.

I think the more that we understand our personal role in relationships, whether they're a relationship with your children, their relationship with your spouse, relationship with your job, your people, whatever it really, we have responsibility for all of it. It's not just how they're acting and they're being in all of those things. And so I think when you take on that responsibility, like, like, like, okay, you know what, I'm responsible for, how I react to these situations. I'm responsible for part of this relationship. I think you show up differently, you know?

And so this has been, it's been fascinating to watch my own personal growth with my kids, like, and how I mother them, if that makes sense.

[00:10:01] Stephanie: Yeah, it totally does. And on that note of saying , you grew up hearing like, oh, you know, the negative stuff about the teenage years, and you were saying like, personally, react in your own relationships and like take accountability for that.

You also have the ability to manifest your own future and your own happiness instead of dreaming up this negative. Negative teenage years, you'll have the negative teenagers. If that's what you think they're going to be, which I want to talk about in a little bit, but before we get back a little and first give the audience a little bit of context about your family structure.

I mean, we heard you have two teenagers and a seven-year-old you said, but give us a little bit about, the roles you and your partner husband play in the relationship.

[00:10:41] Julie: Ooh, this is so good. And it really requires me to just go back a tiny bit because I'm actually divorced from my older two kids.

Ah, and it's so funny cause you, you nailed it on the head when you said, okay, you get to decide how something plays out versus letting a circumstance play you out. Right. And I have to say, when I was getting divorced, the older two were four and two years old. They were very young. And I said to their dad, and it's so funny.

Like he and I are talking a little later today. He was actually joking. He's like, do I need to like schedule time with your assistant and like, do I need to pay for your time? Cause like it was so funny. Cause it was just like, we were back to back to back. Uh, he's talking to her later today about my daughter's graduation party.

We ha she's turning 18. She was four. When we got divorced, we have texted probably every single day. For all those years, we talk and communicate every single day, but you haven't sat down parents situation. We made that happen. It was designed and by choice and trust me tons of opportunities where it could have gone south.

Okay. This is all part. It goes back to you create right? What you want. You do not let the things. A version of you, you don't want to be right. So for me, I said, look, just because this isn't working out, like where we're going to be parents to these kids for ever. So like the death to you part still sticks when it comes to being parents like that never goes away.

We will be grandparents together. We will be at weddings. Grandparents. All the things. And I remember saying to him, look, I want us to be, I want to, I want us to be the best co-parents there that there could possibly be. Right. And we did that. We really stuck to that as a core. And so our dynamic, our family dynamics very interesting because my husband, my now husband, he came on the scene when the kids were six and four.

Yeah. Like six, about six and four. So a couple of years later, and I told him right out of the gate, I'm like, just so you know, Jack and Caroline's dad. And I literally talk every day. And if you like, you just going to have to be okay with that because it is, this is so important for us, you know? And so, and I also told him straight up you're either in or you're out.

So you're either going to be like the most amazing stepfather in the world. But you can't be a spectator, so there's no spectators here. Like you're either in or you're out. And that has been a process, you know, over all these years. So it's, I share that because we have the power, especially as women, especially as women to bring everyone along with you on a vision.

Right. So I brought a line, my kids' dad on a vision of the future. I want to be grandparents with you and be in a same room and have there be no problems because our kids don't deserve that. Right. Or, you know, I telling my, my now husband, like, look, their dad's going to be here. And we all got let's, it's all going to get, he loves him.

It's all good. You know, but we. Happen. I would start to hear people say things. Oh, you're so lucky. You're so lucky. I'm like, wow, this was so intentional. You have no, there's no luck here. It's called persistence on a vision. Right. That's what this has been about. And so I

[00:13:57] Stephanie: would say bought in on the vision too, because you can't just force a vision on someone, but getting them on board and then keeping that communication.

[00:14:05] Julie: That's it because I would paint the vision of, can you imagine being at Caroline's wedding and there's tension and weak, these two can't sit here and this person can't sit here and I would, that's what I would do. I would say, do you want that? Or do you want us to get through this so that we're all there together and it's not forced and all the things, but you're absolutely right.

You've got to keep that vision cast the vision, right? It's so key. And so you can, you don't have to let circumstances dictate anything. And I, I have Jack and Caroline and they will say things like, man, we are like the best divorce family there ever was. I'm like, well, yeah, again, we worked on this, right.

And, and I'm not undermining the fact that there are really rough situations out there. And I know there is, but we always have choice on how we handle things. It's just that, that's the one thing we do have control over no matter what the situation is. So we, so I'm divorced. And then my husband of 10 years, and I have a little guy who is seven and it's fascinating.

You know, when I was, I was the primary breadwinner. I was vice president of marketing at a really big company with a really big job. And my husband got Boston, was a police officer who was a detective and they just, they don't have the ability to make the kind of money that I was making.

And so, you know, for me, we've always kind of had. You know, he helps out with so much and whatever, whatever, but I come to terms with the fact that it's kind of funny, I'm sure some of your moms will appreciate this kind of getting okay with the fact that I'm going to be the tone setter. Like I used to like, get annoyed about that.

Like why, what does that mean? Me like that like sets the tone and everything, but it's the truth. Like mom, Mom's mood is bad. Like everything's bad. Mom's mood's great. Everyone else is better. And you're like, huh. And I almost would resent it cause I'm like, why can't I be in a bad mood? And everyone else picked me up.

It doesn't usually happen that way. Right. So I just, I kind of assumed that role, that like, you know what, I'm going to be the tone setter and the mood set or the tones that are in, in the family. And, um, I'm gonna, I'm gonna own that. I'm going to be okay with that. That's, you know, that's an also I was going to

[00:16:07] Stephanie: say the breadwinner.

And did your husband take a step back or did he continue being a police officer?

[00:16:13] Julie: He had to take a few. So what he had to do, which was, it was also kind of like a list, a little bit of like a friction point. He couldn't progress onto the next role in his, like he wanted to become Sergeant and then it be Lieutenant and all of these things.

And you had to go on midnights first to be a Sergeant. And I was traveling, I was in a global company, traveling all over the place, traveling around the world. Like there would be no one to watch the kids in the middle of the night if I was traveling. And so he had to say no, and that was rough because that. You get tapped to be Aleut, you know, Sergeant, Lieutenant, whatever, like to have to say no to that was really unfortunate.

I think it also helped him know when I came to him with the, so I want to leave this corporate job and it's going to mean we're going to have to take a step back temporarily to go forward. Are you okay with that? Casting the vision I'm like, but you could then become a Sergeant or Lieutenant. And like, you could kind of put your foot down on the gas of your thing, you know?

So it's exactly what we did. I, you know, I, I left that corporate job. It was probably, you know, it was the biggest, how old was your kid at the time? Your youngest. Yeah, so he, so it's all started. I had him at 39, just turning 40 and I want to say around 41, he, I mean, he was young and he was one year. He was probably a year old, rare.

I was like, okay. I got to go, like, I can't do this anymore. Now. There was a couple of years. From that point of side, hustling it and figuring it out. And what was I going to do? And all of the things, but the decision was made in my mind. Anyway, this was happening.

[00:17:48] Stephanie: Yeah. It didn't have anything to do with also having your third child, having a baby.

Like, did you want to leave because you just weren't passionate anymore about it or.

[00:17:58] Julie: Okay. I always wanted to go. I felt a nudge, always to do something different. I always wanted to do my own thing. I didn't know exactly what that was going to be, but I remember Caroline is turning 18. I remember being pregnant with her, sitting on the couch and I was on the phone because 18 years ago there wasn't like google or, you know, any of this online stuff. So 18 years ago, I was like, literally on the phone with the head of franchising at this beautiful, like flower shop chain. I went into the store in Boston. I'm like, whew, I would love to have my own place like this. And I was always thinking stuff like that, like constantly.

So what was I doing? I was like on the phone with the VP of franchising going. So what is it going to take? How does this look? All of the things now, mind you, I was still married to my older kids, dad, and that probably would have been the thing that ended up being the thing, because. I would've wanted that.

And that would have been really, I think, I think he still breaks out in hives thinking about the fact that I am on my own with my own business. Like, oh my God. Right? He's so supportive, but you know what I mean? Like, cause he's like, oh my God. So it's a risky, you know, but I had these ideas. I never went through with any of them.

I remember I had entrepreneur.com before, you know, kind of all this stuff before it was like online, anything. It seemed like. I had, they, they shipped me like a four inch, five inch binder of materials to learn how to become like an entrepreneur. Like this is, it was so, so this was always here, right? There was no online courses.

There were no podcasts, you know, any of those things. And it was there. Like I knew I wanted to do it, but what I kept saying. I will do that when right. I will do that when the kids go off and the kids are in school because of the riskiness, honestly, it was really, you know, financially, I just, I just didn't see a path and it was confusing.

How are we going to do this? So I just kept putting it off. And it's so funny, the universe, God, whatever, you know, everyone believes those nudges, those there they're there for a reason. And so I kept saying, I'll wait. And then after 18 years of being in this company, pretty much working from home. If I wasn't traveling, I was, I was living the laptop life back in 2002.

Like they literally like had a remote strategy back then. And after about 16 years with the company, they decided to bring everyone back into an office. Eliminate remote capability. And it would have required me to travel two hours, one way, two hours back every day, five days a week. And I was like, not happening.

So my little guy was about a year old around that time. And I was like, okay, I got the sign. Like I got it. God, you want me to do something different? All the things. And of course I still wasn't sure what that was going to be. And I started to interview. Local places that were closer and everything that I interviewed for same kind of level, but it was like a third of what I was making at that, uh, at the fortune 500.

And I turned to my husband, I said, look, now is the time. Then I would rather take a massive pay cut and build my own thing. Then take a massive pay, cut and go do what I'm doing at the same time. That makes zero sense. Right. So it was really, that was the catalyst, if you will. And I. So thankful for whoever in that company made that decision, because I have never been happier and wouldn't, you know, everything with COVID and the pandemic and people being working from home.

I can't even imagine how they wish they never changed that strategy because they opened up offices in like all of the most expensive cities in the entire country. And like now everyone's at home and everyone's home, right. Those leases, I can't even imagine. So I just, I, it was so what was supposed to happen to get me, to push me out the door and to start my own, my own business.

[00:21:53] Stephanie: So I want you to talk about a couple things on that note, which is one, you said you didn't leave immediately. So you've made that decision when they said you have to work from home. Was that after you had already started thinking about what your next thing is, or did you then wait a little bit, because I know there's a lot of moms out there who, unfortunately, might've lost their jobs last year.

I'd have decided like, whoa, I do not want to go back in the office. Like I realized, this is not my thing. I want to take whatever passion or side hustle to the next level. So how did that transition go for you?

[00:22:24] Julie: Oh, it's such a journey it's set. Right. And I think that the key is that just don't stop asking yourself questions because I didn't know.

I really didn't know. I would, I would brainstorm on it. I would write it down. I'd be like, okay. So the nice thing is they gave us this window of time. Before everyone had to 100% make the decision that they were going to be in an office because some people had to literally move to be able to get closer to an office and all of the things.

So it was, it was a big, big ordeal. And I was a vice president at the time. So I was dealing with a lot of helping people make this decision and then moving and all this, it was, it was really kind of insane. And I, I decided. I D I was definitely leaving them, but I had this window of time before I really had to start traveling into it, into the office.

So I used that time to start brainstorming. And then when I tell you, it's like nothing, none of this is overnight for the most part, you know, maybe you get the rare unicorn where it happens overnight, but it really usually doesn't, it is a process. And it's one that you'd need to just be persistent on. So.

I didn't know what it was. I wasn't sure, but I kept asking myself, well, what could I do? What would I like to do? And I would, I would write, I mean, I would just like, I would write down all the things I really good at. I would write down all the things I enjoyed about the corporate job. I would do all of these different things.

And here's the, here's the fun. My entrepreneurial journey is like a set of zigzags all over the place, because I still didn't believe in this whole online space necessarily. I was like, really? I don't know. And I don't want to, like, I don't want to do marketing. That's my thing. And I don't really want to do marketing for other businesses.

Like, that's not what I want to do. Probably been there, done that. And I really didn't know. And all I knew was I absolutely loved. Fashion and clothing and I loved making other women feel amazing. And I loved the idea of having my own brand and all of these things. And so I ended up actually opening a brick and mortar boutique was my very first business.

Let me tell you, I do not advise that being your first business. It was amazing. I had a blast. It was about retail or.

[00:24:34] Stephanie: Buying or

[00:24:36] Julie: anything, merchandising zero to so much so that I had never actually even worked in a store and I've never taken a piece of clothing and checked it out. Like I'd never even had done that.

And, but I was like, but I'm hiring people for that. Like, I really, I have this vision for it that it wasn't, I never had the desire that I was going to work in it as much as I was going to create an experience, but that normal things. And of course, what's the first thing I did. I hired a woman who was a boutique coach.

I mean, you don't go this alone, right? I mean, that's like, oh, well I'm not, I have no idea. I have no idea how to buy, I have no idea how to price. I have no idea any of these things, right. So I worked with a coach to help me with it. And, and it was amazing. I, you know, we, we brought that, I brought that boutique to over a hundred thousand dollars in sales within less than four months, we were really strict.

It was, it was, it was beautiful. People loved it. But that wasn't the final destination, you know? And I had people working in there and all that, cause I was still, I was still at my corporate job while I opened this is,

[00:25:34] Stephanie: this was your side hustle. It wasn't like, I was just going to, you know, do a few coaching calls on the side or I'm going to launch a blog.

It was like, I'm going to open a brick and mortar store while having a

[00:25:44] Julie: full-time job and three kids and an essential and an essential worker husband. Yeah, it was crazy. I looked back and I'm like, if I can do that, I pretty much can do that. But yeah, I opened that while I was still there. And here's the funny thing, right?

So it was amazing. It was such an incredible experience. I got to create a brand and an experience from the ground up employees and all the things. It was like entrepreneurship by fire. Right. But, you know, and I knew that's going in, but I was like, what? That my passion will override. Any of that. I knew the profit margin was not going to be amazing.

And it really was not. I mean, with overhead, rent, you know, employees buying the stuff and everything. And I ended up, I ended up selling the boutique and I gotta tell you with everything that just happened with the pandemic. I was like, oh, thank God. Thank God that I had switched gears a couple of years ago, but I sold the online component and I, again, it all goes back to manifestation, right?

Because. Think about trying to get out of a three-year lease. You've got all this inventory, you've got a physical space. You obviously, you have expenses and cost of goods, all this stuff. Right. And I was like, I just kept saying, I kept writing it down every day. Right. I could follow what I do. I wrote down everything.

Do you journal every day? Do you? And I wrote down every single day that I sell Haven boutique, effortlessly and easily to an amazing person that wants it. All of this happens with ease and calm.

Okay. I wrote that down every single day, even when like, people like what you're selling it and you got what's happening and you know what, when I tell you it could not have gone more of that direction.

Okay. I actually, I held a webinar to sell the boutique. I did. I swear. I'm not even kidding you. I was like, you know, I'm gonna use this online marketing stuff and I'm going to have a webinar. I had 25 people come to learn about the boutique about buying it, all the stuff local. But I did it online to get people to come into, to do that.

And I ended up having a woman that bought the online component to it. So like the website and all the stuff, I pretty much sold every piece of clothing that was in there to customers. They cleared the store out. I had another. Uh, a couple of ladies who are amazing, who are about 35 minutes away who were like, we really want to open our own boutique and all the things.

And I'm like, well, if you want to come and buy any of the fixtures and the tables and the mannequins and all of that stuff, like feel free. They came and they bought everything. When I tell you that they came, they backed up a truck, they took my store. My all we had was my husband's pickup truck. We put some stuff in the back of that pickup truck.

One trip. At the same time I go to tell my landlord, I'm like, oh, let's see how this goes. You know? And I'm tired of the landlord. And he goes, oh my God. He goes, this woman like just approached me because she wants to open a state farm it, you know, right in this Plaza, like she wants to be in his Plaza and there was no other openings.

So I was able to get out, get my security deposit back. Like everything was fine when I say it went simply, easily and effortlessly. Pretty awesome. But that's because I really believe that we can, we can manifest these things now. Of course you have to take action. I can't just sit and write that and hope and pray that it happens.

I went and I did a webinar. I actually came up with the idea like, Hey, why don't you guys come? Just check out the stuff that I had and whatever. And they ended up taking everything. It's just, you got to, you got to believe in the possibility. I think I had to believe in the possibility of it. Then you have to take action.

[00:29:09] Stephanie: I think action. That's the most important key point is I feel like people learn about manifestation. And so they're like, I want to be a millionaire and you have to ask, well, how, like. How are you going to do that? You might not know the way, but you need to take that step. You can't just sit there and watch Netflix and expect it to fall in your life.

[00:29:28] Julie: This is where imperfect action comes in. Like, I love the book, the secret, and maybe the secret. It was all good, but like they missed the core component, which is you do need to take action, right? It's the action and the equal reaction of you taking the action that causes the thing to happen. Like that's how it works, you know?

And so, you know, just, there's so much evidence in all of the. My life of how this all came to be. I mean, there's, there's so many stories that I could tell you even have how I left the corporate job. We don't have time to get into it all, but like literally also how it was manifested was incredible. Like we're, you're like what, it's crazy, but it's because I, it really does work.

It really, it really does work. You got to know what you want. Got to know what you want and you got to lay that out there. So anyway, the next thing that I wanted was, you know, my own coaching business, the one thing I was asked over and over and over again, when I had the boutique and I was leaving corporate, how did you do this?

How did you leave corporate? How, how, how? And of course my mind is going to, oh, well I can teach them the online marketing and the sales and how I started the business and how I built a brand and all these things. But that's just strategy what actually. Was the, how was in my mind. Right? And so I decided that if I was going to be a coach and I was going to help women create things like whether it's businesses, whatever that I had to be able to help them with their mind as much as I could help them with Instagram, you know?

And so I ended up getting certified as a life coach and I continue to work on that growth for me as a coach personally. In addition to helping with the business stuff. So it's like, I like to say, like, I help people like create businesses and things that they want, but really from the inside out it's this inner work that really is how it all works.

And so I, I can honestly tell you that it was a bit of a challenge in making the transition, because again had the little sidestep there with the boutique and. Yes. You were near the money I was making in my corporate job. And it took a little while to obviously to grow my coaching business as well. But it's so funny because I kept telling my husband, I'm like, well, you know, everyone wants to know, well, what are you writing down now?

Because it happens, you know? So I'm like, well, I'm writing down every single day. My business is making X amount of months and you get to retire and he just retired in February and that's done say a

[00:31:54] Stephanie: police officer in 2020, I

[00:31:56] Julie: don't rock. It was rough. And he's a really good guy who does so much good. And so, you know, it, he took a lot hard and so he was just, he was so sad, you know, and, and, and it was hard.

And so. I was like, you're going to retire. It's gonna retire. He's like, and at the time when I was saying it, he couldn't even see the evidence of how that was possible, but I kept telling him like, oh, write it down and taking action, taking action, writing it down, all the things and, and it's, and, and, and he, and he retired and he's now becoming. an entrepreneur, he is opening and doing some things with some guys that he's creating. So I just, I absolutely love that.

You know, it's like the fact that, you know, we get to make these choices. They're not easy choices. You have to take these leaps and believe when you have no evidence in front of you, but they're worth it.

[00:32:46] Stephanie: So I wanted to step back a little, because you were talking about these women really needed the mindset, or like you did this because you manifested. There are a lot of people right now who are at stage one step one who don't really understand that no one goes out and buys mindset, you know, no one goes out and is like, yeah, I need just to hire a coach because I need to work on my mindset again, because that's never, I don't even know what exists yet.

So what are maybe some tangible first steps people can take before that in order to kind of get them? So if you're like listening to this and you're like, well, that's great. I want all this, blah, blah, blah. Take the leap. Like sounds so great. That's not how my world works right now. Now what do you suggest to them?

[00:33:27] Julie: There's the biggest one. I mean, this is where it all starts because you can't begin to take action. You can't begin to go through the personal growth journey. That's required. Even know that you need mindset work. You don't even know it. You know, like you said, you have to know what you want. It all starts there.

And I don't mean that you have to know what you want so that you know, that every detail, like when I knew that I wanted to leave corporate and do my own thing, I did not know the answers. I didn't even know what it was going to look like yet. Okay. But I knew what I wanted and what I wanted was freedom.

I wanted to leverage my creativity. I knew that I wanted to have something that was mine, that I created. Right. So I was writing these things down. Like, this is what I want. I know what I want it doesn't, you don't have to know that all the how and all the details but if you don't know what you want, it's nearly impossible to take any actions to start to figure out, like, what do I need to change? Who do I need to be? I mean, you can't even begin to do any of that stuff if you don't know what you want.

And I honestly think, and I went through this, especially when my older kids were younger I really wasn't asking myself that question. It was, what am I going to allow myself to do? What should I do? I would say that's the biggest change where most things changed in my life is instead of saying, what should I do? I said, what do I want to do?

[00:34:57] Stephanie: Well, I love that word. Should, that was the first thing. My very, very first coach I had, I didn't even know I was signing up for a coach. I kind of was just like, oh, I like talking to you. She wrote down the word shut. And she's like, okay, this is a word you're not allowed to use anymore.

Excuse me, what? And she's like, you need to like take should out of your vocabulary. Okay. And I never realized how much I actually said that.

[00:35:19] Julie: We live it. Yeah. We don't even say it. We live it like should, is our were, is, is, is our beliefs and our beliefs come from the culture that we're in, how we were raised all the things.

So when it's in my mind, I should work at a safe, safe quote, air quotes, corporate job. I should be responsible for the lifestyle of my family. Like I had like the weight I'm I should like, well, I should, I should. Right? So it's like these beliefs. I always think that should is another word for these deeper beliefs that you have.

So when you find yourself like thinking that like, well, no, but that's just what I should do. You know, that's, that's a belief. You got to knock down, you got to take it down because it re it's actually revealing and your, our life, our results are the exact reflection of what it is that we're thinking and believing.

Right. So for 18 years I stayed in a job that I think that I thought I should. Stay in for all the other reasons. Right? So when you start asking yourself the question. I guess I would hear like limiting beliefs and you got to uncover your limiting beliefs or syndrome and all lot of terminology, you know, work, do the work.

And I'm like, what does that mean? Is that like, what are you talking about? Right. You never, those things never come up when you're living. Should, why would they, the second you start asking yourself, what do I want. What usually happens is that what you really want. There's a gap between what you really want and what you think you should be doing or should have, or should, should, should.

That's the gap. That's where the limiting beliefs are. That's where the mindset stuff starts to happen. But you can't even know that that gap exists. If you're just in the should and you don't even know what you want. So the, the thing that sets it all off is when you really ask yourself that question, what do I want?

And I think

[00:37:20] Stephanie: I liked the definition of your want too, because I think in our heads, we think, what do I want? Like I want, and they're physical things. Like a lot of times we think. To be tangible, physical. Like I want to live in a bigger house or I want X versus like the feeling. And I think that's important because not a lot of people dream of the feeling, the freedom, the how would you feel?

And that is the true want and the driver. And so I like that definition. It just puts so much perspective on things.

[00:37:48] Julie: Well, you know what I would say as you brain dump it out of what you want, have it be both? Right. So when I think about what I want, there's some elements to it that are absolutely physical and financial and that kind of thing.

And then all that emotional, like how do I want to feel, what do I want my day to be like when I wake up on a Monday morning and my eyes open up, do I want to get a bed and do the thing that I'm going to be doing that day? I think Steve jobs is quoted as saying that, you know, he, every morning he would look in the mirror and he would ask himself, do I want to go and do the thing that I'm about to do today?

And this, we said that if his answer was no for more than a few days, he would change something. I can remember going through decades, decades of waking up every Monday morning. Actually we usually start on Sunday night and the Sunday night blues would start and I wouldn't want to go into the next week.

And I'm like, oh, I'd wake up on Monday. And I wish I had seen that quote way earlier because I was like, whoa, I went through decades, decades of that. I'll tell you right now, I don't Sunday. Monday mornings. Like I I'm ecstatic to get into the week. Right. But that's because I made those decisions. So I think when you really sit down and you ask what you want, you gotta really be honest with yourself and it cannot be, what do you think your husband wants?

What do you think your kids want? What do you think your parents would want you to do? You know what your best friend, right? Like it can't yet have this happen to want. That's where it all starts.

[00:39:22] Stephanie: That's so true. And then on that note, I think for moms, we don't ask ourselves what we want often, because we're always busy doing things for other people.

And so on that note, on like, say the self care side, doing something for you and making time for you. Is there anything you do daily just for yourself?

[00:39:39] Julie: Yeah. I get up an hour earlier than everybody. What time is that? And so it's funny. I used to try to force myself to be five o'clock in the morning. But now I do six.

Like I it's usually around five 50 that I get up. I was trying to force it and I'm like, uh, should came up for me. Oh no. But like the biggest entrepreneurs, they all get up at 5:00 AM. The 5:00 AM club I should get up. Should, why am I saying that? I don't want to, so what do I want to do? I want to, I like to stay up a little later into the evening and get things done on that end of the day.

So. I'm good with five 50, like going out,

[00:40:11] Stephanie: I resonate so much with that. I keep telling myself, I was like, I should get up at five, but I'd rather work till midnight

[00:40:17] Julie: or it's the shoulds come up even in entrepreneurship. Right. So what I do is I go, I get up on five 50 and grab my coffee. I drink water first and coffee.

And it's my time to do that little bit of work where I do some journaling, it's nothing crazy. Okay. It's nothing crazy about what I do is I have kind of like my top 10 dreams that I love, and I have that printed out and like a vision, like it's actually like a vision it's, it's pretty long. It's like on like a PowerPoint kind of thing.

And I read it and it's, it's like my life, you know, maybe 10, 15 years from now and what that looks like and all the things. And I, I allow myself to really think about that. And I do some journaling and then I do some planning. I kind of say, okay, like I kind of know what my day looks like, what are the top three things that I really need to make sure that I'm accomplishing today?

And I just, just starting the day off that way with coffee, the dogs, me doing that, like I would, when everyone else is getting up and like the chaos starts to unfold with school and three kids I'm calmer. So that is something that I really, I really, really need to do for myself. And for. Where I want my life to go, you know?

[00:41:31] Stephanie: Yeah. Well, thank you so much for all of that. That was so, oh, I have so much to unpack there, but I wanted to wrap up by asking, what do you think is the superpower you gained? Once you became a mom that makes you better at business, life, whatever that might.

[00:41:45] Julie: Oh, gosh, you know, it's like, there's so many things, but the thing that came up right, when you said that was, I used to be a worrier, I really did.

I, I would, I would, I think of worst case scenarios and stuff and all the things you can not live in that space when you have kids. Because if you're always thinking worst case scenario, there's a lot of bad things that can happen. And I think that it really helped me to change that behavior in me. And it's helped me become.

Actually more of a risk taker now, believe it or not because of that. Right. And not worried about the worst case scenario I want to, I want to live and I want to be that example for them that it's okay to take chances and to take risks and to not to be so like trying to hold them so tight, you know, back.

And so that that's been, that was a big change for me, like who I was before I was a mom to then becoming a mom.

[00:42:38] Stephanie: I think that's also why moms are the best entrepreneurs.

[00:42:41] Julie: I still do that.

[00:42:43] Stephanie: Well, thank you so much for everything today.

[00:42:45] Julie: Where can we find you online? Yeah, so, I mean, I love hanging out on Instagram. I have people that helped me on Instagram because the way there, where the company's at, but I answer my DMS.

So if you, you know, any of this resonated definitely follow me on Instagram, DM me. I'd love to hear your takeaways or anything you want to ask further that maybe we didn't unpack. Totally. Cause we can go on and on. I think we can probably talk all day. You and I, that did do that there for sure. And, and then I have a free Facebook group where I go live every single week talking about this stuff and it's called the ignite actually buys.

But then this error is we're, we're changing the name. So it's the ignite squad. It's just the ignite squad. And. Free, you can join it and, you know, get some more goodness of how to create a life that you love.

[00:43:26] Stephanie: And then also tune into your podcast because you'll get great insights there too.

[00:43:31] Julie: Yes, it's so funny because the name's changing on that too.

So all you gotta do. Yeah. Yup. And, but it's still just change it or no, I, well, a little while ago I changed it, but this is why I love entrepreneurship. The more, you know, your person. Who you want to serve, how you want to serve her, you, you should be evolving. Like, it's just part of the thing. So I said, I just totally did that.

Stephanie, I love you called that out, but I want to serve my person. And I realized that I started to realize that the word hustle was not fitting some of my, what I want. And I was kind of, I'm going a little broader. So actually I'll say it now, because by the time this comes out, it'll be done. It's it's called ignite her mind.

Oh, yeah, because it's the mind, this is where it all begins. And I want to really start getting people to awaken and to see and get ignited on this goal, these dreams is want, you know, all of the things. And so really excited to definitely check out the podcast. It's just changed to Ignite Her Mind.

[00:44:31] Stephanie: Oh, I love that.

I guess that totally resonates too, because like hustle, I mean, yes, you do have to hustle in life. You have to, but that's kind of like a given, but yeah, it has a little bit more of that like masculine kind of like you hit the ground running kind of thing. So I love that. Ignite your mind. It's very opening and freeing. So well great. Thank you so much for joining today.

[00:44:51] Julie: Thanks so much for having me. Thanks for all that you're doing for moms. So, so powerful.

[00:44:56] Stephanie: Thank you for all that you're doing for women too.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode of mommy's on a call. Your support means the absolute world. To me. You can find the show notes for this episode and other goodies over at mommy's on a call.com.

And if you enjoyed this episode or have gotten value from the podcast, I would be so grateful if you could head on over to apple. And leave a rating and review so that we can reach and empower more moms all over the world together. Thank you so much again, mommy pod, and I will see you here next time.

Podcast, Business & Career, Mental & Emotional Health, Spiritual HealthStephanie Uchima-CarneyComment